15 Ways to Blow a Marriage: Men Share a List of Don’ts That Every Husband Ought to Live By
Sometimes men need a little encouragement to be their best in a marriage, and that’s where fellow husbands come into play. A number of men submitted their advice on what to stop doing if you want to keep your wife happy because learning from others’ mistakes is always a recipe for success.
We at Bright Side listened to these veteran husbands, put our own spin on things, and now present you with a list of what men shouldn’t do if they want to keep a blissful marriage.
1. Don’t be a closed book.
Be open and honest with your wife. Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. She wants to know you and needs you to know her. People change over the years and if you don’t communicate, one day you might wake up next to a stranger.
2. Don’t pretend that you’re listening.
Now, communicating is one thing, but you also need to learn how to listen. Agreeable humming and nodding along with what the other person is saying can be infuriating because women know when men aren’t listening. You have to be invested in what she’s saying, otherwise, it’s no different than talking to a wall.
3. Don’t point out her flaws.
Forget about focusing on your partner’s flaws. What you need to be doing instead is building her up every day. She’ll see who you are through her own eyes, so which image do you want sticking around?
4. Don’t stop treating her to things.
In other words: don’t dump all the house responsibilities on her. Help out around the house regularly and make dinner for her once a week. Your wife is your queen, so treat her accordingly.
5. Don’t put her down in front of the children.
You’re both equal in this marriage, so you need to act like it around your kids or in public. Solve issues only behind closed doors. Remember that you’re setting an example for your children on how to behave in a marriage.
6. Don’t linger on other women.
There’s nothing wrong with taking a quick look at a beautiful woman passing by. It’s that second glance that’ll get you in trouble. If your wife asks, admit that you looked, and instead, compliment her immediately.
7. Don’t lash out at her straightaway.
If you feel like you’re losing your temper, don’t accelerate the argument. “In any argument, count to 10 and remember why you fell in love with her.”
8. Don’t think you’re smarter than she is.
Just because you know more than her in one area doesn’t mean she won’t run circles around you in another. Also, never assume you know what she’s thinking. Your wife is a temple of emotional intelligence and wisdom, don’t forget that.
9. Don’t try to solve her problems all the time.
Sometimes, all women want is for you to listen. Next time she tells you about annoying traffic or a nosy co-worker, don’t give her advice. Instead, let her talk it out and support her by saying, “I’m sorry, honey, that sucks. Want me to run you a bubble bath?”
10. Don’t stop making her feel loved.
Put an effort into reminding her how wonderful she is every day, how thankful you are for what she does, and how happy she makes you.
11. Don’t be a false hero.
Picking up a gallon of milk doesn’t mean your wife owes you for the rest of the year. Be helpful, but be humble — women notice every little gesture you make.
12. Don’t speak badly about your spouse behind her back.
“The old ball and chain” routine needs to disappear from your vocabulary. You and your wife are a team, so don’t make fun of her or complain about her to other people. How would you feel if she was doing the same?
13. Don’t distance yourself with technology.
Don’t rush to your TV the second you get home or stare at your phone during dinner. Your wife is not a prop. Engage with her and involve her in your free time unless you both need some time to yourselves — there’s no shame in that.
14. Don’t shy away from difficult conversations.
Being vulnerable often goes against male instincts, but sometimes your wife needs to see it in you. No matter how uncomfortable the conversation makes you, suck it up and be transparent with your wife. It’ll be much easier to overcome anything when you’re together.
15. Don’t stop kissing her.
Kiss her in the morning, at night, and any time you feel like she secretly wants a kiss. Your intimacy is a fire that keeps your relationship alive so enjoy it as much as you can.
Did we miss anything important? Share your marital guidelines with us!